The smoking quit goes well in the concrete sense, if a little shaky in the realm of the mind.
This must be nine days now. I stopped counting, which I think is a good thing. I think I have half of this thing licked. The physical stuff is not much of a problem – no real urges, no slip-ups. I honestly don’t think I’ve even had any major “I have to smoke now” moments or anything like that. So that’s good. All credit to the patch, good preparation, good friends, and visiting my doctor.
The psychological stuff is a little uglier. Not the end of the world, but I’d certainly call it tricky. Times at which I would be a little bit nervous have grown into moments of panic. A bad day might be turn into an awful one. I require a lot of time to myself, and that has lately turned into going out a back door and walking around a building to avoid other humans, or closing the blinds at home. But, it’ll be fine. I moved up my follow-up doc visit to tomorrow, and he had warned me that this might happen. And I like and trust him. So, we’ll get it fixed.
In the time being, I’ve been trying to particularly notice (and perpetuate) the awesome. I was at an orchestra rehearsal last night, and I made sure to note that I got to spend the evening with two dear friends, also musicians in the group, whose company and humor I always really look forward to. I had the most wonderful time playing the pipe organ this morning, almost transcendent – the music splashing around the empty church like big forte-fortissimo waves. We went to McDonald’s the other night. (A cheap thrill, I know, but I adore those disgusting Pigeon McNuggets.) The other day, I had a lovely talk with a friend that I didn’t even know I had. Nice to have good moments to appreciate. I have a new video game too.
I takes ’em from where I can, folks.