Well, it’s the little things. Isn’t it?
I’m the kind of person that is sometimes set off by the small stuff. Just sometimes. Generally, I roll with the punches. Even big broadside punches, the kind that knock most people to their knees. Mostly, I’m pretty tough. Emptying the euphemistically named Blackwater Tank into the septic line? No problem. I’ll even smile while doing it. Not leaving the property for weeks at a time because our stupid Jeep is in a constant state of repair? Easy. It is what it is. Being in a constant bloody state of cut/stabbed/punctured by errant nails and prickly boards? Part of the game. Doesn’t bother me.
However, sometimes, the little things get to me, totally setting me off on a tear. Perhaps my subconscious needs a break every so often. Perhaps it is sometimes actually looking for something to be crabby about.
Here are a few thing that stuck in my craw this week …
A morning gig I have next week requires reading and prep. I’ll be thankful for the few bucks. I agree to it. And then I find out I’m not going to get the reading material until the night before I have to be there at 9am the next morning. And I have to work at the store that night. So, (I guess) I am expected to go in unprepared, via the sheer laziness of the group leader, and at his convenience. Furious, but I didn’t back out. However, my noggin is today telling me, “You won’t be taking work for them again. Ever.”
Another Similar Case – I got a message asking if I would like to play a show (piano) sometime in the Fall. I said, “Sure. But be sure let me know when. I have commitments in the Fall.” The person proceeds to put it together without speaking to me again, and tells me that It will be the few middle weeks in October. During the Poe Thing in Philly, which I have been committed to for six months, contract signed. He explains that he was really counting on me and could I “get out of the Philly thing?” I said no, I could not “get out of it,” and that in fact, “this is my work, and I do not cancel commitments.”
Do people think I am just sitting here whittling and spitting and waiting for them to come ask me to do something for peanuts? Get your houses in order folks. Can I get on my high-horse for a few seconds? Professionals are prepared, and expect the same from others.
So, I get angry. Then I think. I’m not any less angry, but I think. In these cases, I wonder if I am being unreasonable. Expecting people to cater to my whims too much. Then I remember that I am one of the most reasonable people I know. But maybe I am expecting too much of people. So I stew. And I marvel at the lack of consideration, and the fact that people usually do not think about how their actions, even the little things, affect others.