The Problem of Specificity

I guess I can’t call it “ennui,” because that term hints at boredom or world-weariness.

Perhaps I’m more of a man without a country (only without Aaron Burr and the politics). I have plenty of kind neighbors and folks to chat with in a general way. I’m rather fond of the few guys I’m working with. Cold ones and Conversation evenings are a village tradition, and not in short supply. Yet, with all this, I’m feeling a little solitary.

Solitary, in a very specific way. I don’t really know anyone that I can hang with and talk to about common interests. No peers exactly, with those very particular similarities that make them peers. I think my set of very specific interests is setting me a little apart. That’s a bit of a problem, since one can’t exactly change what sorts of things one is into. Conversely, one can’t exactly force others to share one’s interests, or force others to be one’s sort of people. Musical Theatre folks? In short supply. Young-ish homesteaders? Not exactly around every corner. Guess I have some work to do. Might have to get out there and become a joiner. Ick.

Well, at least I have the dog.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “The Problem of Specificity

  1. adktricollie

    Actually my husband & I suffer from the same at times. We are not exactly young but a good majority are older. We have alot of diverse interests including, nature & all wildlife, the environment, reading, politics, the arts, you name it. We don’t hunt, fish & trap so we don’t fit in with certain groups. We would rather shoot with a camera then a gun & we don’t go to the local bar every afternoon for a beer.

  2. That’s such a sad thing to read, you should have seen the gaggle (ok, 3 couples) of musical theatre lovers at our place last night. If you ever find yourself in Glens Falls…

  3. adktricollie

    Maybe when you are settled & have a free afternoon, you (and yours) can meet up with my husband & I for lunch. That is if you are interested. Having worked in NYC for 14 yrs. there just might be some common ground lol!

  4. That’s a tough one. I’ve lived in my locale for 13 years and still have that sensation. I feel it a little less on campus, since I’ve gone back to college full time, but still the group there that is my age (aside from instructors) is small… so even then, I’m a little solitary. I think it is why I enjoy blogging… I’ve found my peer neighborhood on line.

  5. Pamela

    I think that sometimes you just hit lucky. I lived for 11 years in East Lancashire in the UK and felt the same as you feel now, I had some friends but mostly through work. Then I moved to West Cumbria, where I knew not a soul, for a new job – on a total whim – and within weeks had started to meet likeminded people who are now firm friends and I have a great time and a whole load of new interests. Join something or set something up and you will find things will change. Besides, you have a dog, dog walkers will always stop and chat I have found. Be open to new things and it will all come right.

  6. Check out the Depot Theater in Westport?

  7. Do you feel like you’re suffering from some culture shock too? I mean, that is a HUGE leap from NYC to the Adks. As you know life in the big city is very fast paced – now you’ve jammed on the brakes and slowed waaaaaaay down…instead of fast talking city folk you’re around laid back country folk….you used to be surrounded by culture, news, diversity…it’s probably only natural for you to feel out of sorts living in a tiny town on a country road? I would hope and think as you meet more people, and yes “join” some things, hopefully you’ll find some other people you can relate to and enjoy conversation about specific topics that interest you. Plus, even if you didn’t just have a huge culture change, it’s always hard when you move someplace new to “find your groove”…Be patient and give it some time, and keep reaching out and I’ll bet you find other people, who are looking for people like you. 🙂 What about getting involved in the local theater? That might be a good place to start maybe? Don’t know if that helps any, so if nothing else —-> (((HUGS)))

  8. I’ve been in the same predicament for years. My neighbors were born and raised on the land they live on, and even though I’ve been there 35 years I’m still a newcomer and will never be “from” there. In many ways it works to my advantage–I can do weird stuff (like drink wine or grow purple beans) and it’s okay because I’m not from there.

    In recent years I’ve finally found some people I can call good friends,i.e. the ones who read the same kinds of things, are interested in the same things, and enjoy the differences between us. But it took a long time. I hope your path is shorter.

  9. Yah, it sometimes works that way – you go for your dream only to find that you are yearning for some of your past life. People in the country are really friendly, but then, they have their own lives and it’s hard to fit in, especially if you don’t have common interests (yet). Hang in there – it will get better (or not ….. :=; ) – I have few friends but I don’t miss them because of the FEW I do have.

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