Our totally awesome neighbor (who is a friend) has allowed us an easement to run our electric underground, across her property. Is that not awesome?! I staked out the supposed route of the line for her approval this afternoon.
Thing is, there’s an electric pole across the street from us. Knowing that the first pole you need should be free-of-charge, my electrician called the planner. Not so fast. The pole across the street is less than 100′ away from our property line. They say, “Put the service right on the house.” We say, “There is no house. It’s being torn down.” They say, “No pole for you.” Of course, they would be happy to install one for a $2700 charge, but that’s so far out of the questions it’s not even funny. (And for $2700, I still wouldn’t own the pole.) So. There’s a pole on the neighbor’s property, and turns out … it’s surprisingly inexpensive to have service run underground. There should be service here in two weeks or so. New Service? $1400. Upgraded service pedestal? $200. No wires hanging over our property at all? Priceless. That’s our neighbor friend pole in the photo.
Meanwhile, I starting thinking about internet and cable. I call the non-local office of our local provider, Time Warner. All the neighbors have Time Warner. I give him my address. “I can’t find anything.” I give him the neighbor’s address, who I know has Time Warner cable, internet, and telephone. “Nope. I don’t see it.” There is a long silence, and then the agent quips, “Well, good luck with that.” And I am totally not kidding.
So I call Frontier, the local phone provider, who also deals in high-speed internet. I explain myself and the whole no-pole thing. She still says, “Oh yes, we service that area. They would just bring it in from the pole next door.” I explain that we do not have a pole to put it on, and I don’t want one either. She suggests, “Maybe you could have a private pole put in.” I explain that I am not going to pay to have a two-thousand dollar pole put in for internet service, and besides, I don’t want one. She continues, “Maybe they could attach it to a tree,” as if a wire going to a tree is different than a wire going to a pole. Amused, I asked her if I got to pick which tree, “Because I have one that is pretty useless otherwise.” She said, “No, probably not.”
DirectTV, here I come.
Old Cranky Guy Next Door Report for Today – In residence, big time.
Crank Level – Moderate, but not personally aggressive.
Incident Report – Direct contact! Beat a hasty retreat.